Live  in the now.  Experience the moment.  Savour the experience. This is the message that seems to have replaced going to India to find yourself in the quest for ultimate happiness.   But what exactly does living in the moment mean?

As a Type A wannabe, I’m usually doing at least three things at once.  As I write this, I’m also trying to hold a conversation with my husband, watch the news on TV, and have a YouTube clip playing on another window.  I *am* enjoying the heck out of this particular moment,  living it to within an inch of its oh-so-fleeting life.

But somehow, I don’t think this is quite what is meant by living  in the moment.  It’s more like eating a donut slowly, or having a 3-hour lunch, both extremely rare occurrences.  Or even my personal favourite: the nap, the spontaneous snooze with no alarm clock in sight.  So how to savour the moment? Here’s my take:

1. Stop multitasking: much easier said than done, this means doing ONE thing at a time.  If you’re on twitter, do just that, but only that.  If you’re reading a book, do only that.  If you’re working (here’s where it gets tricky), try to work on a single task at a time.  That means you actually listen to what is being said in a meeting rather than plotting your next sentence or fiddling with your phone.

2. Stop energy-sapping time-wasters: this includes making your own pizza dough (supermarket kind is just fine, and the kids prefer Pizza Express anyway).  It means you stop visiting with that friend who brings you down, or that colleague who subtly patronizes you.

3. Go deep, not wide: read one book at a time and really get into it.  I can’t remember when I started this, but somehow, I’m reading three books at once, keeping track of 2 plots and the gist the message in the third non-fiction book.  I’m enjoying them, but not really as deeply caught up as I get when it’s just one.  Deepen the experience of whatever you are doing.  If you are upset and are having a cry, putting on some sad music and looking at old pictures will do it.   If you are having a discussion, notice not only what is being said, but body language, emotional undercurrents  and truly tune in to your conversation partner.  If it’s not worth it, then don’t have the conversation in the first place.

4. Declutter: I’m not talking about Style Network’s Clean House.  I mean declutter your life.  Sign up for fewer things.  Have a few more nights in.  Sign the kids up for only one or two activities, not four.  Work out only three times a week, but workout for longer or harder.  Buy in bulk to reduce shopping trips. In other words, don’t do something just to tick the box.

5. Go easy: Use the shuffle function on your iPod and forget about custom playlists.  Plan to eat the same weekly menu.  Use the back of an envelope or receipt for notes instead of elaborate electronic means (you won’t read the note back anyway, so you might as well go the quicker one).  Pick activities that are closer to home.  Ask for help when you need it.

I came across three different pieces of media this week: Zen Habits on taking is slow as the answer to making lasting changes; Marcus Buckingham on what’s happening to women (becoming sad apparently); and finally a clip from Oprah interviewing a young Kuwaiti woman, who talked about how Kuwaiti women, unlike their American counterparts,  take their sweet time on things like lunch.

The one common thread running through them is:

slow + deliberate = happy & fulfilled

fast + busy = sad & guilty

In the end, it comes down to choosing the right stuff to be slow and deliberate about, which for me means trying some of the five things listed above.  I know I will have the hardest time with cutting out the multi-tasking and the de-cluttering.

Leave a comment and share how you live in the moment.